On March 27th, Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) members at Ypsilanti Community Middle School (YCMS) offered an inspiring and educational movie lunch-in on the topic of bullying to bring exposure to bullying and a concept called being an “upstander”. An upstander is someone who recognizes when something is wrong and acts to help make it right. A bystander on the other hand is someone who witnesses bullying or cyber-bullying but does nothing.
SADD students and their guests at YCMS engaged in discussion around the effects of bullying within their school. A social work intern shared her personal story, which propelled the students to reveal their own struggles with either being a bystander or a victim of bullying. Students also learned “bully-buster” techniques to use when faced with a bullying situation. SADD students also helped communicate the message that bullying hurts for a long time. Many adults can remember times when they were bullied as children. As part of the bullying prevention campaign, SADD reached out to teachers to share their 6-8 word story of how bullying affected them and what helped on our “Teacher Tell-It Wall” that was displayed in the school hallway.
At the end of the lunch event, students were given two glow bracelets (one to keep, one to share) with the challenge to share what they learned with someone else. The glow bracelet was a reminder to use their “light” or voice, to be an upstander and make a positive difference for themselves and others.
Regional Alliance for Healthy Schools (RAHS) 
In my experience the problem is detecting bullying below a certain threshold. There are cutting remarks that a bystander cannot “decipher” unless he/she is in on the story and about which the other in a group laugh, including seemingly the victim (which is not obvious to the outsider). Though it be an uneasy smile, the victim is held hostage by the unwritten laws that if he/she “hurts” then its their fault, as these remarks were quite innocuous on the face of it. It is the rise of refined behavior in the French aristocracy that coined the phrase “courtoisie” i.e. politenes as the comity or politeness “used at the kings court” (hence the name, still preserved in “Hoeflichkeit” in German (Hof = court) and I think schools or teachers should try and infuse some of this comity in students rather than addressing the obvious transgressions.